There are days when you just don’t love what you see in the mirror.  Maybe it’s because you’re bloated, or maybe it’s because your skin is breaking out and you’ve got a couple of pimples on your forehead? The women I work with often tell me they are disgusted by what they see in the mirror. If this is you, read on for 5 tips to love what you see in the mirror.

Do you like the person you see in the mirror?

If not, why not? Is it about looks or something deeper? You might be carrying shame or old internalized messages into adult life that are being reflected in the mirror. It’s interesting how something you feel badly about from your past can be seen on your hips!

It’s important in learning how to love what you see in the mirror that you understand past areas of shame or regret that you are carrying around. You need to face them head on instead of displacing them on your body. This is a common practice that I see all the time.

If you feel bad about yourself, you will look bad in the mirror. When you feel good about yourself, the opposite is true. Self love and self acceptance is an essential component in loving what you see in the mirror.

What do you see when you look in the mirror?

My guess is that you are very critical of your self image. You most likely struggle with a negative body image, therefore, your body dictates how you feel about yourself. The mirror reflects criticism. You feel bad. You think if you could lose weight all your worries would go away.

Your confidence is shattered and the negative spiral begins. I wonder, have you ever looked for positive attributes when you see your reflection, or only the negative?

love what you see in the mirror Do you wonder why you can’t love what you see in the mirror?

Criticism is rarely motivating. If you immediately see the fat, the rolls, the bulges, etc, there is no room to love what you see in the mirror. Eyes of self-compassion come from evaluating yourself with more understanding that you are human. Whatever perfect ideal you have in your mind is impossible.

You are probably comparing yourself to others, social media, or a past self image that you prefer. Comparing will always be the kiss of death when trying to love what you see in the mirror.

When you love yourself, it is easier to love what you see in the mirror.

Self love means accepting all your flaws, blemishes, stretch marks and zits. It sounds like hard work but I promise you it gets easier with practice!

You can love who you are while still desiring change. Desiring change is ok as long as you’re doing so without judgment or more shame. Remember, shame and criticism is not motivating. It will only cause you to feel bad about yourself.

Showing yourself compassion while on your journey to love what you see in the mirror will be important. Let’s get into how to make this happen!

Here are 5 tips to love what you see in the mirror:

  1. It’s all about empathy, as previously said. Stop a critical inner voice from chattering away! If your eyes just see a negative self-image, make an effort to discover something positive. You will eventually discover it if you look for the good!
  2. Recognize the impact of past shame, guilt, or regret on your life and how it “drags” you down. The memories of the past tend to creep into your current reality without your knowledge. Take stock of your previous experiences. What do you notice? This will be a great chance to practice forgiving others and yourself for things you have yet to let go.
  3. Stop comparing! Comparing your body to others will always damage your self-esteem and sense of self worth. You should redirect your attention toward yourself. What purpose does it serve to compare oneself to others? Women come in all shapes, sizes, and colors, yet what makes someone beautiful is so much more than their physical appearance, isn’t it?
  4. Finding things to be grateful for outside of your appearance can shift your perspective on what is most important in life. Gratitude changes the way you perceive what is truly essential in life. Of course, it’s important to like the person you see in the mirror. However, there are a slew of other vital factors that keep everything in its proper perspective. Go deeper into the person you are vs just judging yourself based on your appearance.
  5. Take time to appreciate yourself and your body with self care on a daily or weekly basis. When you respect yourself and your body, it will be evident in the mirror. Take some time out of your busy schedule to do anything you love with yourself. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Taking a walk, taking a bath, listening to your favorite music, or reading a good book all qualify. Self care is a key to love yourself and your body.

Take a moment, reflect and practice these 5 tips. Look in the mirror, talk kindly to yourself, know that you matter and your worth is so much more than your reflection. You can do this!

Lesley Goth, PsyD Lesley Goth, PsyD is a Sustainable Weight Loss Coach who works with women every day teaching them to love what they see in the mirror. You can register for her free masterclass here. You can also obtain Lesley’s free resources for your weight loss journey here.