Have you ever asked yourself what would change if your body was different? Do you think you’ll finally be happy? Will you finally land that perfect job or perfect man? I think if you’re being honest with yourself, some things may change, but in reality, there are 5 things that will stay the same when your body is different.

Before we dive in, let’s explore why you think your life will greatly improve once you lose weight or change your body. It’s likely because you feel like your body is holding you back. You feel unattractive and unworthy of certain opportunities.

Society perpetuates the belief that once you change your body, you will finally be happy. This is simply not true. There are definitely things that stay the same when your body is different.

You’ve bought the lie that your body is the indicator of your worth and value as a person. The perfect body, whatever that means, will lead you to bliss. You’ll finally get that guy that has always looked right past you. Or, you will finally get offered the perfect job. This lie gets perpetuated through social media, advertisements, tv, movies, and our culture.

Media is hurting you.

All types of media cause you to compare yourself to others who you think have the perfect life, the perfect body, etc. However, the outside appearance of things are very deceiving. In reality, there are things that stay the same even when your body is different.

You have to change your focus. You need to change how you view yourself, which is the first step in changing your body image. Therefore, stop comparing. I say this all the time. Comparing is the thief of joy. So why do it?

Find people or groups on social media that promote body acceptance, self-love, and follow the truth that your worth resides in your heart, not your body or your appearance.

The scale is hurting you.

In addition to the media, you may be using the scale to judge your worth and happiness. If you’re waiting and hoping for a number on the scale to make you happy or confident, you’ll be sadly disappointed.

If you change your external appearance, but still have the negative body image within yourself, it will not change who you are on the inside.

Your worth stays the same when your body is different.

People don’t see how “fat” or “skinny” you think you are. They only see YOU! Stop letting numbers dictate your happiness and self-worth. Your worth is more than a number.

The scale is a really easy way out. It’s a quick fix. However, it doesn’t change the fact that you’re still focusing on your body and all of its physical features rather than who you are as a person or what truly matters to you.

In other words, a lower number on the scale doesn’t change your mindset or who you are on the inside. It only changes your appearance. For more on how to detach your weight from your worth, read this blog.

It’s time to change your mind about changing your body.

So why focus on how much weight loss when there may be other more important factors to focus on? For example, if you lost weight, would your relationship issues go away? Would your kids all of a sudden be angels? Would financial struggles all of a sudden be resolved? You get my point.

Maybe focusing on your body is not the right indicator that creates happiness, peace, confidence, and joy. Focus instead on what really matters.

Your work is important. Your relationships are important. Spend time on what matters, not your body weight or size!

Internal vs external focus.

Again, you need to focus more internally rather than externally if you want your life and emotional well-being to change. External factors change all the time, don’t they? Jobs change, finances change, kids grow up, weight fluctuates, etc. But who you are on the inside, that is what is consistent. That is what people gravitate towards and appreciate.

You are what really matters, not your appearance.

While changing your body may change the way people look at you, it won’t change how others treat you or make them more or less interested in getting to know who YOU are as a person.

People that matter won’t judge or think less of you based on your body type or shape. The ones that really know you and care, love you for you and has nothing to do with your body, change or not.

If your body changes, here is what actually stays the same.

Now that we have discussed why it’s ok to change your mind about changing your body, let’s discuss what will stay the same when your body is different. It may not be exactly how you pictured it in this new future of yours… but I promise, these changes are even better

1) You’ll still love and be loved by others.

2) You’ll still have to go to work for a living.

3) Your friends will still support you, no matter what happens.

4) The sun will rise and set every day.

5) You’re probably going to want ice cream at some point in the future, even if it’s not something you would eat now!

Lean into real confidence and self-love.

No matter what or how your body changes, true confidence and happiness comes from within and not from what others think of you. It’s a great time to stop comparing, stop thinking your life will automatically be so much better with a different shape, and dig into how great you are on the inside.

You’re worth it.

Now that you know what stays the same, change your focus from numbers to significant things inside yourself and in your life. You’ve got this! Go take on the world with a new mindset about your body and start loving yourself for a change!

Lesley Goth, PsyD is a psychologist and weight loss coach. Lesley has developed an 11 week online program that walks women through mindfulness tools and gets rid of the self-sabotage. For information on her free masterclass, click here.